Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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