too bad you live with your parents still
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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