Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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