is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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