can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
