this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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