Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
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My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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