we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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