I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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