it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize