you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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