If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
