Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
