One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
