I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Houston, we have a blender
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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