You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
