I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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