I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The ass gains better be worth it
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