I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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