just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize