I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
