Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
