Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is Oprah even human
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
