Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
That's intense
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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