i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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