I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
