I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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