how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
