So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
