Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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