You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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