i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
