You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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