I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i now understand why vodka
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
