i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
