you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
