Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize