yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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