Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
