I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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