Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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