u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
