wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He shit in the fireplace
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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