you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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