Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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