i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
