I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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