I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
