the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize