it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
