Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
