No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
