Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
