when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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