don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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