So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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