Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
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i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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