every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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