I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
