I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
