Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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